Morning all.
Yesterday was a reminder that Arsenal have to do everything ourselves. Which is obvious, really. Win our games, that’s the thing we need to do. Do not expect any favours from anyone. This weekend, we did what we needed to do and did it very well. Elsewhere, silly little men let the world down, but that’s out of our control. There is nothing we can do about that.
With a Champions League semi-final tomorrow, we can’t worry about next Sunday yet, but the results this weekend were not favourable. First, West Ham lost to Brentford, then Unai Emery’s Aston Villa lost at home to Sp*rs, which means a bit of a switcheroo in terms of the relegation places. The Hammers are now in the bottom three, and that other lot are out of it.
It was always going to be a scrap at West Ham, so I don’t think this changes anything really, but I would have preferred a scenario where they’d have been a few points clear of the drop rather than this. But, it is what it is. And if we look further ahead, anyone hoping that Villa might produce something on the final day that could be to our benefit need to realise that is simply not possible. Unai Emery is a silly little man, and they play Man City, and the outcome of that game is more inevitable than anything that has ever intevitabled.
Man City 8-1 Villa (Haaland 3′, 7′, 14′, 23′, 36′ 60′; Silva 74′; Doku 87′; Guardiola 90+6′ : Watkins 1′)
If you think I’m trying to be funny, none of this is funny to me. I’ve literally seen people say ‘Maybe Unai Emery can do us a favour’, and I’m slightly impressed and vaguely appalled at the strength of drugs you can get on the street these days. Maybe Maroon 5 will release a good song, how about that? Maybe an earthquake that hits 9.8 on the Richter Scale will only knock a few cups over and not cause catastrophic damage and the resulting tsunamis won’t kill thousands of people and animals and leave a wake of destruction in its path. Maybe Gary Neville won’t make a disgusting sound when someone scores a goal in a big game. Maybe Man City will be deducted points for their 115+ charges. Maybe, if I walk into a den of hungry lions with a sign in lion language that says ‘medium rare, ready to eat’, I won’t be devoured by the gigantic cats. Maybe the next Dune movie won’t be some boring piece of crap about some giant worms who choose to live in the sand but haven’t considered the idea that if they lived at the beach they could also take a nice swim every day and not bother with that weird wispy little Chalamet fellow whose ‘moustache’ is an insult to the magnificence of Tom Selleck’s facial hair. Maybe we might properly tax the billionaires. Maybe Steve will finally get a game for the Arsenal. Maybe I’ll get a hole in one on a par five. Maybe I’ll watch an episode of this Traitors thing to understand what all the fuss is about. Maybe tomorrow will be ‘Skronkleday’, an entirely new day in the week that only occurs once every 312,001 years when the moon is aligned with Jupiter and Mercury and the cosmic rays impact our existence. Maybe we don’t live in a simulation that isn’t glitching like a bastard right now … *gestures to broadly everything* … and the ones running it aren’t thinking ‘Have you tried turning it on and off again? That might fix it!’.
Maybe.
What I mean is, don’t expect any favours from anyone. Least of all Unai Emery, so we have to do what we have to do as well as we can do it. I also just want to say that regardless of what you think of Mikel Arteta if, at any point during his tenure, you have expressed the notion that we should have stuck with his fellow Spaniard, or that he might have done a better job if he’d just been given more time or more money to spend on woolly headed French lads with the IQ of a special needs gnu that has been beaten around the head with a cricket bat, please stick your head in a threshing machine. Maybe you’ll be fine and the blades will miss you entirely.
Maybe.
I think I have to go now. Tomorrow we can look forward to what is a massive game against Atletico Madrid, and a bit later on you can join myself and James for an Arsecast Extra, by which time I will have had more coffee and perhaps a slice of toast and I’ll feel much more like my normal self.
We’ll put out the call for questions on BlueSky @gunnerblog.bsky.social and @arseblog.com in while, so when that happens fire away using the hashtag #arsecastextra – or if you’re an Arseblog Member on Patreon, leave your question in the #arsecast-extra-questions channel on our Discord server. The pod should be out around 1pm or so.
For now, have a good one.
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