Two words the majority of chronically online sports fans instantly recognize: “Dearest mother.”
The phrase originates from a Twitter parody account from 2015 to 2019, and written in the style of letters from a Union soldier during the Civil War era, Capt. Andrew Luck delighted his social media followers with updates of his battles and the care packages he had received with items such as dried mouse ankles and sugared beaver tail.
The real Andrew Luck started at quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts for two seasons during that span, winning Comeback Player of the Year in 2018.
But when Luck announced his retirement from the NFL in August 2019, the page — @CaptAndrewLuck — retired, too, with some parting words that included this line: “I have made the decision to holster my sidearm permanently.”
Still, the phrase “Dearest mother” remained forever sealed in online sports lore.
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“It was sad,” the author of the Capt. Luck account told ESPN. “But I felt like there was closure and there was no point really to keep it going.”
In November 2024, when the Stanford Cardinal hired Luck as football general manager to oversee the entire program, the former quarterback was back in the game — with a promotion in rank. Captain no more, Luck had leveled up to general.
The owner of the X account immediately thought to resurface the page.
“When the news came, that’s how I found out, was through my phone going crazy,” said the owner of the account, who asked to remain anonymous and be identified only as a West Coast journalist. “And fans hitting me up and being like ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you can bring it back now.’ So yeah, of course I wanted to.”
Quickly, the account posted on X about its return, and one of social media’s favorite fictional heroes was back. The account now boasts just under 500,000 followers.
Dearest mother -The battleground has called for my glorious return. I’m thrilled to say, I shall heed that call.
I have reenlisted.
While my sidearm is permanently holstered – I shall help train other young men to be great soldiers. Please send care packages of squirrel oil…
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) November 30, 2024
The page launched in December 2015 with this bio: “Soldier. Colt. Simple man.” Since then, “Cardinal tactician.” has been added in front of Colt to reflect Luck’s current role. The creator came across memes depicting NFL players in different time periods, which inspired the page’s beginnings.
“I just thought it was hilarious, and I’m a history buff and I’ve always loved Ken Burns’ Civil War series,” the author said. “And I thought it would be a fun thing to do, to talk about football through that type of voice.”
The author began using the tone with friends over text messages, sending mock letters ahead of games. One friend recommended starting a Twitter account, appreciating the humor and thinking that others also might “get a kick out of it.”
People got more than a kick out of it, and the page’s follower count exceeded 43,000 by December 2016. Actor Rob Lowe mentioned it multiple times. Then-Colts punter Pat McAfee said some of the posts were “pretty funny.”
A voice in the creator’s mind served as Capt. Luck, talking about football from a unique perspective. The character’s development and the accuracy of his language over the years were aided by the creator having a minor in history.
Outside of seeing which game — or battle, in this case — is next, there is no research involved. Not even for the tasty roadkill-themed care package items ranging from spiced raccoon calves to floured hedgehog thighs. Squirrel oil is a staple.
But those virtual care packages went unopened when Luck announced his retirement. The account owner told ESPN that through the years there had been several offers for the page.
“Obviously, I haven’t sold [the page] because I don’t want to. I enjoy doing it too much and I worry about what it might become. But I was ready to be done,” the author said. “I did a final farewell tweet that I thought honestly was pretty beautiful.”
Therefore, as Luck retired, so did his captain. Posts on X occasionally popped up, but only when Luck was in the news.
In May 2023, ESPN’s John Keim wrote that the Washington Commanders phoned Luck in the previous offseason about potentially returning to play. Jim Irsay, who owned the Colts, responded to the news on X, writing that if any NFL team contacted Luck or any associate of his to play for their franchise, “it would be a clear Violation of the League’s Tampering Policy.”
The Colts and Commanders resolved the tampering dispute, and Capt. Luck wrote that his beard had been “tapered — but not tampered,” and that he would continue “reading to the birds.”
The owner of the account and Luck have never met or interacted. The author said some people still believe Luck is the one behind the posts. Luck is aware of the captain and has expressed his satisfaction.
“This person has a much better sense of humor than I could ever have. I think it’s hilarious. I think it’s funny,” Luck said in an interview before the start of Stanford’s season in August. “I think a proper parody account that stays clean and that has proper humor is good for the internet. And I’m happy to help it in some way.”
Luck’s biggest show of approval for the page came in September 2023. He turned up on the postgame set of a “Thursday Night Football” matchup dressed as a Union captain, wide-brimmed hat and all. The moment quickly went viral and prompted another call for the account to return.
Dearest mother -I hope my appearance on the magical, moving picture box filled you with joy. As you could see, my resolve has never been more robust. Squirrel oil and your peppered chipmunk feet have kept me sturdy. Life is splendid. Give the cows my best. I love you.- Andrew https://t.co/8s8VW0xEBD
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) September 22, 2023
“It went bananas. Like bananas, crazy insane, and it was so cool to see …,” the author said. “People were telling me, ‘C’mon, bring it back, there’s got to be a way, bring it back.’ And, well, you can’t just bring it back. It’s got to be tied to football. That’s what makes it fun.”
Just over a year after the “Thursday Night Football” appearance, fans flocked back to the account. With Stanford’s first season with Luck as general manager now underway, the account’s plans remain the same.
The author will follow a cadence as if Luck is with the Colts. Posts on Monday look ahead to the “battle.” Wednesday is when the “care package” arrives. There will be reflection after the game.
Days before playing the BYU Cougars, Capt. Luck shared how he had reached the “land of Ut-ahhh” and would practice “a pounce defense to combat these big cat men.” Preparations for the Boston College Eagles included Capt. Luck ordering his men to drill while covered in feathers. The drill evidently proved to be prudent. The Cardinal won their first game of the Luck Era 30-20.
“I just want to keep it fun, and that’s the biggest joy for me is that people enjoy it so much, including Andrew,” the author said. “I mean every time I’ve seen him say that he really enjoys it, I get a kick out of it. It’s like the ultimate compliment. And I take that responsibility really seriously.”
Just like Stanford’s new general.
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