NFL Wives Find Support System at Super Bowl Ladies Lounge

It was Saturday in a balmy New Orleans, and Jennifer Slay, the wife of Darius Slay Jr., a cornerback for the Philadelphia Eagles, was at a party in the French Quarter, hugging and greeting a crowd of women whose husbands also play professional football, some for the Kansas City Chiefs.

On Sunday night in the Superdome, their husbands will face each other in the Super Bowl.

“It’s always like, you know, ‘Hey, who is going to win?’” she said.

But in this room, at this moment, these women were not Ms. Slay’s rivals, they were her friends and her support system.

A D.J. played hip-hop while guests in Mardi Gras beads line danced in the middle of the room or huddled on couches chatting in groups.

“When you are with the other wives, you feel like you can relate to each other and be so comfortable around each other,” Ms. Slay said. “These women are amazing, and we all empower one another.”

Other high-profile wives and girlfriends have been spotted together around New Orleans this weekend. On Friday night, Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes dined with their partners, Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes, at Lilette, a French restaurant on New Orleans’s trendy Magazine Street.

Ms. Slay was standing with about 50 women upstairs at Felipe’s Mexican Taqueria at an event thrown by the National Football Wives Association, a membership organization for partners of current and retired players.

The association started as a private Facebook group, where the partners of football players confided in one another and asked for advice about N.F.L.-related issues. The group now has an Instagram account with more than 40,000 followers, and has started meeting in person to connect, develop skills and offer support.

“It’s hard enough to be a wife or girlfriend to any man, let alone a football player,” said Amber Staples, the president of the N.F.W.A. who is married to Justin Staples, a retired defensive lineman. “We have the challenges of navigating the N.F.L., which in itself are tremendous. Then, if you get moved and go to a new city, who do you call?”

The association now puts on events in about six cities across the country, where participants can bond and unwind, and hope to double that number next year. It also hosts an annual conference that offers mentorship on a variety of topics such as how to provide mental and financial support after a player retires from professional football.

“My husband went into a depression for two years after he retired,” Ms. Staples said. “He sat at home on a couch.”

“When you lose your identity, it feels like you are losing your entire life,” she added. “These guys were playing football as kids their whole lives, and then they retire at an age when everyone else is building their careers.”

The particular gathering, called the Super Bowl Ladies Lounge, was a chance to relax during what many said felt like an especially eventful Super Bowl weekend.

A taco bar was set up in the back of one room, and bartenders poured frozen margaritas and served fresh-squeezed mimosas.

“The atmosphere here is way different,” Ms. Slay said. “This is a party city, like it’s wild. There is something going on every street.”

At a station where guests could add stickers to Super Bowl merchandise, Amina Smith, a commentator for ESPN and the wife of Deon Bush, a safety for the Chiefs, was decorating a sweatshirt that said “Chiefs Vs. Everybody” and had her husband’s number, 26.

“I haven’t slept for a week,” she said, laughing, adding this party was a welcome break. “It’s hard to talk to people who are not in this life and explain to them what we experience, so it’s good we are together.”

One challenges is a brighter spotlight, which may be a result of Ms. Swift’s entry into the N.F.L.

“We definitely get more attention now,” Ms. Smith said. “I think it has kind of grown over the years, and people see us as — not just with players — but people who actually have our own lives.”

Alison Gore, the wife of Eddie Jackson, a safety for the Los Angeles Chargers, said she loves being around women with similar daily experiences.

“For six months, it is about our men, never about us,” she said. “A lot of us have kids, and we put ourselves last.”

“There are these mental things that nobody ever knows about,” she added. “Like, they get injured in practice or they have something stressful happen in a meeting or in the locker room. When they come home we have to bring support and peace into their days.”

The party, she said, was an opportunity to shower the other wives and partners with appreciation.

“We need support to support our husbands,” Ms. Gore said. “If we are good, they are good.”