Silas Demary Jr. and his twin sister, Sierra, made a pact in fifth grade that they would attend the same college and graduate together.
They doubled down on the promise in high school, before Silas transferred from the local Millbrook High in Raleigh, N.C., to Liberty Heights, almost three hours west in a Charlotte suburb.
Sierra was fully prepared to follow her brother to USC after he initially made his college decision, but when he changed his pledge to Georgia in late April, the deadline to apply had passed. So she got as close as possible, enrolling at Athens Technical College – only about a 10-minute ride from the Bulldogs’ home court – to earn her Associate’s Degree while attending just about every game with her family, which has attended almost every game Silas has played.
After two years in Athens, Silas decided it was time to take the next step in pursuing his NBA dream. One of the top players in the transfer portal, he heard interest from the best programs in the country before taking a visit to St. John’s and getting up to UConn the next day.
The Demarys were sold quickly, feeling welcome and wanted from the moment Associate Head Coach Kimani Young declared, “There goes my point guard!” upon first introduction.
On their second day in Storrs, the family getting ready for the traditional photo shoot inside Gampel Pavilion a day before Silas announced his commitment, Sierra made her pitch.
“We were all just talking and she was like, ‘Yeah, I just wanna let y’all know, if he’s coming here, I’m coming here too,’” Silas said. “It definitely was a package deal.”
The package included dad, Silas Sr., a former Arena Football League all-star, mom Shanté, a director at the medical device company, Teleflex, and older sister Samara, who is taking a break between earning her Master’s from Georgetown and pursuing a law degree to enjoy this part of the journey with her family.
With dad retired, mom able to work from home and Samara taking a position as an assistant manager at a Lululemon storefront in CT, the family rented an apartment in Mansfield for the season so they wouldn’t miss a game.
“You could just feel the close-knit family ties and the love and support with the whole group on the visit,” coach Dan Hurley said. “It felt truly like an organism that was moving as one.”
Her brother’s keeper
The Demary twins were born prematurely had to stay about 10 days in the hospital. Sierra, eight minutes older, needed an additional day after Silas was taken home because every time she was put in her car seat, she’d stop breathing.
From that point on, the twins were never split apart until Silas went off to Liberty Heights and then Combine Academy in Lincolnton, N.C., even further west of Charlotte, for his senior year.
“They have been inseparable since the very beginning. They have a very special relationship and I think it’s a little bit beyond just being twins, their connection is almost unreal,” Shante said. “They’ve always been together, even when they have their ups and downs, when life happens, their ability to connect is beautiful to watch because there’s this automatic reset where it’s this level of security, this judgement-free zone. They have this innate ability to just make things right for one another.”
Growing up, they were best friends. And very competitive.
They’d race up the steps to see who could get into the house first, who was going to sit in the front seat of the car, who could get into the bathroom first in the morning. When they shared some of the same classes, it was all about who’d do better on the test or take home the better report card.
Sierra, in the ACES program at UConn and planning to become a mechanical engineer, played volleyball, softball and gymnastics growing up.
“But then once Silas started getting good, I was like, okay, I’m gonna put myself on the back burner, I’m gonna put all my eggs in his basket,” she said. “I love to see him succeed. If he succeeds, the whole family succeeds.”
It was difficult when Silas moved away. The twins had planned on sharing high school milestones, going to prom together, walking the graduation stage one after another.
Basketball kept them tight. Family vacations were always tied to sports, trips to tournaments often extended extra days to include other fun excursions for the whole family. Sierra bought in and was intent on learning the game, keeping track of Silas’ stats from the stands in AAU and through middle and high school.
“She is her brother’s keeper, I will tell you that,” Shante said. “She is definitely her brother’s keeper.”
Now they both live in The Oaks on-campus apartments in Storrs, almost literally right next door from each other. They spend down time in each other’s units and will often get together with the whole family on off days, making trips into Hartford to sit down for a meal, sometimes talking basketball, sometimes talking everything but.
“Starting to adult, live on your own, and to be able to do that alongside my twin, to be able to have her next to me is a blessing. There’s some days where it might not be my best and I can just go hang out with her, vent and we just chill. It feels like old days being back at home,” Silas said. “That twin telepathy is real. We kind of share feelings, like I can tell when she’s not on top of it or having a good day and vice versa… Usually when she’s having a good day, I’m having a good day.”
Silas has gotten used to seeing his “village” on gameday, seated in a row directly across from the team’s bench, waving blue and white pom poms whenever he or his teammates make a play. He can always spot them in the crowd.
“It’s that presence,” Shante said. “We have a very strong village and our support system is beyond reproach. It is definitely a beautiful thing, and none of it we take for granted.”
Realizing his dream
The Demarys were a football family first.
Silas Sr. played eight years in the AFL and coached his son hard up until middle school as young Silas showed promise and dominated all over youth football fields with his pure athleticism, once leading their team all the way to the Pop Warner Super Bowl.
When Silas was nine or 10 years old, Shante remembers catching a glimpse of the coaching he was receiving from his dad on the sideline.
“I mean, he was coaching Silas so hard that I got angry,” she said. “They typically would leave early and the girls and I would pack up, because I was always the team mom, dragging the coolers, dragging the snacks. I made up in my mind that day that I would always drive separately, just in case my son needed a ride home if he just didn’t want to ride with his dad after coaching him that hard.”
But Silas took to it and his football career continued until his sophomore year, when his basketball coach urged him to hone in on one sport because the team couldn’t afford him getting hurt. He had fallen in love with the challenge of hoops and was starting to come onto the scene as a legitimate prospect, eventually becoming a top-75 recruit in his class.
When he decided to give up football, he couldn’t bring himself to break the news to his dad.
“I remember I was like, ‘Mom, can you help me tell him?’ She kind of broke it down to him and I was there behind her,” he said.
“Oh, it was tough,” Silas Sr. said. “But I had to realize it was his dream and not my dream, so I had to lean into his dream as well. I was like, ‘Yo, if that’s what you wanna do, I’m good with it. We’re gonna jump all-in here for this basketball thing and we’re gonna figure this out.’”
Becoming UConn’s quarterback
Silas Sr. won Dan Hurley over on the visit.
“‘I want you to coach my kid hard,’” Hurley remembers him saying. “‘No, Coach, I want you to coach my kid really hard. Be on his ass.’”
“When I get that from a parent, Hurley said, “I know that they’re about the right things.”
The Demarys saw UConn as a place with a winning culture where, rather than playing in hopes of getting into the NCAA Tournament like they’d felt at their previous stop, the Huskies played for seeding with expectations of success. They were in awe of the experience and the fanbase once they attended the season-opener and saw Gampel Pavilion packed for the game against New Haven.
Hurley saw Silas as the big, 6-foot-5 point guard who could change the team’s defensive identity and give it a chance to win a third national championship in four years. And he saw a support system that would allow for his style of coaching. Everyone’s boxes were checked.
“I was preparing him to be at a place with any type of coach, any environment and be able to respond,” Silas Sr. said. “And he’s proved it time and time again. He’s got two state championships, he got an Under Armour national championship, I mean, the kid, he sacrificed a lot to be where he’s at now.”
“Winning is a part of his brand,” Shante said. “If we go back and reflect, this is just who he has been all along.”
Intent on becoming UConn’s next great point guard, Sierra noticed a change in her brother’s approach to the game once they got to Storrs.
“He knows what he wants to do and he’s gonna go out there and accomplish it,” she said. “He is more like, ‘This is what I’m coming out here to do, this is what UConn has me here for.’ He’s not playing around.”
“The way (Hurley) coaches me was the way my dad coached me when I played football. Core resemblance of just yelling, screaming, the details and the intentionality with every little thing. I enjoy when coach coaches me hard, because that’s just what I’m used to… The way they coach you, it just rubs off on you as a player and a person,” Silas said. “Creating a routine, building good habits… Just being more intentional and taking on every little thing, taking it serious and not just letting things fly under the rug. I think it has just made me become more aware.”
It took some time for Silas to adjust to a new play-style, becoming the lead guard in a unique and complex system where he’s surrounded by a level of talent unlike any team he’s ever been on. He willed the Huskies to their first ranked win over BYU, recorded his first-ever triple-double two games later and has increasingly grown comfortable in his role with some expected ups and downs along the way.
“I remember there was a time in the summer where I was just getting frustrated because I wasn’t on time with everything and how it needed to be, and as months went on, it got better and better… I’m interested to see what it will look like at the end of the year, I think every day I’m getting one percent better,” he said. “Coming from my last school, I was a floor general and I was able to score at will because that’s what the team needed, but I know here, we have different guys that can go off any night and my job is to lead the team, defend and just get lost in the game, make as many plays as I can.”
And every time he does, he knows he can look over and see those pom poms shaking.
“I still think the best is yet to come,” said Shante, “And we’re here for all of it.”
