The SEC’s secession talk just set a new low for bad jokes in college sports.
Thanks to co-worker Seth Emerson for this analysis piece from Miramar Beach, Fla., on the Southeastern Conference and its discussions about breaking away from the rest of college athletics. Thanks, as well, to a variety of colleagues who wrote earnest columns on the subject.
Thanks and sorry: You’ve all been had. That’s the prayerful explanation for the nonsense that spouted this week from the leaders of a football conference that hopes to grow up and be the Big Ten someday. These people had huge laughs Thursday morning over their airport Bloody Marys after realizing their words were treated as if serious.
Either that or this industry is melting their brains in real time, in public view.
The big brother Big Ten took its turn last week at inviting ridicule, pushing hard on all fronts for the 24-team College Football Playoff that commissioner Tony Petitti has brought to the table like a child with a Whoopee Cushion at a wake. It didn’t help. It remains a bad and unpopular idea.
And it made way for SEC leaders at their spring meetings to take the easy “W,” cast aspersions on the plan and give college football fans a brief exhale — knowing the SEC wouldn’t be buckling and that the 12-team Playoff would carry on through the 2027 season, at least.
But no. That conversation was largely deferred in favor of satire, intended or not.
Arkansas AD Hunter Yurachek made a stink about TV forcing the Hogs to play a Saturday night game in Utah the week before an early Saturday home game against Georgia. Huh? He cited “the well-being of our student-athletes,” perfect phrasing amid this 24-team conversation that could see college teams playing as many as 17 games in a season.
Ole Miss coach Pete Golding basically admitted to tampering, but also, what about Lane? Commissioner Greg Sankey was asked about the Big Ten surpassing the SEC in football, requested the metrics used to inspire such a statement, was reminded of the Big Ten’s three straight national championships and 4-0 record over the SEC in those Playoffs, and went into the kind of spin mode that would outdo a military-grade Electrolux.
“This league stands alone,” Sankey said. “In fact, we saw metrics out of the College Football Playoff presentation where there’s no doubt we’re the strongest league.”
Yes. Because all those years the SEC was rightfully puffing its chest out about football superiority, it wasn’t citing all the national titles. It was focusing on deeper metrics. Let’s get Kenny “analytically, we’ve won two out of three” Atkinson into the SEC as soon as possible.
None of this can compare to the secession talk, though. It would be straight out of “The Onion,” if “The Onion” lowered its bar a bit.
Georgia President Jere Morehead got this kicked off in a booming way by telling Emerson of the idea of the SEC breaking away and running its own Playoff: “I think that would be fantastic. I can’t imagine the ratings if that happened. Georgia-Alabama SEC championship last year had ratings through the roof. Imagine if that had been for the national championship? I think our fan base is strong across the country.”
That’s a real quote about a thing that would never happen, that would quickly reduce all of this to rubble if it did, and that must make Sankey cringe to hear expressed as such. And while people laughed at it, inside and outside of the SEC, Georgia coach Kirby Smart backed up his boss and said he’s “not afraid of that” if college football can’t find rules that “everybody played by.”
Yes, the SEC is talking about others not following rules. The SEC is talking about enforcing rules among its members. The Gambino crime family is offering to take over federal surveillance of itself.
“Do we want to have competitive equity within the SEC, or do you want to unencumber people to go compete on a national level? And so far we have chosen the latter,” Florida AD Scott Stricklin said. “So the thought is if you create SEC-only rules, you can create really good competitive equity in the league, but you would probably decide it makes more sense just to compete as a league.”
Again: a real quote! Made by someone paid handsomely to be a leader in college athletics. Who also compared the SEC to the Premier League, noting that the size of the SEC’s geographic footprint is larger than England, so yeah. Just break away and watch as Ole Miss and Missouri fan clubs pop up all over the globe.
Let there be no confusion as to why the doomed-from-inception College Sports Commission is overwhelmed and has athletic directors worried about the fallout of unfulfilled financial commitments to athletes, while the industry crosses its fingers in hope that the latest attempted Washington bailout gets closer to the finish line.
These are unserious people. Who at some point may actually try to say they were joking all along. This is a far-flung bluff that should have been reserved for private, late-night laughs over Scotch-and-sodas.
But SEC spring talkin’ wasn’t all agitatin’. Kudos to Texas A&M football coach Mike Elko for this truth bomb, when asked about the 24-team idea: “None of us are answering for the good of the sport. We are answering for the good of ourselves.”
And congrats to Tennessee AD Danny White (despite his unfortunate endorsement of the “access” a 24-team Playoff would provide) for standing strong in his belief that collective bargaining is the only viable outcome, and for adding allies to Team Employee.
It’s coming. Slowly. Painfully. If the SEC wants to lead on something impactful and step out of the shadow of the league with more money and a championship streak, that’s the thing. Some will object, but no one will laugh.
